In conversations with Venus,
Why? is generally my question.
But this is a dance,
and inquiries are not answered in the
order in which they were received.
She’s a green planet
and I do not know her well.
Except maybe I do –
she has been an orchestrator
of moments behind the scenes
and a whisperer behind folding screens
and curtains.
What I mean is, she is a familiar
but unacknowledged thread
that runs through my life.
I look back and think,
Oh yes, she was there that night.
And I do remember catching a glimpse of
her that day,
and now that I think of it, she was the one
who told me what to say,
when I leaned across the table to you.
Venus, let’s bring our relationship
out into the open.
I invite you.
I love it when you complement my hair,
and suggest the blue shirt that matches
my eyes.
I appreciate how you whisper,
“Try thinking of this situation in a different
way, a softer way.”
I love dancing with you –
we look good together,
and our moves swell the room
with pleasure.
As much as I love the joy,
I also need your help.
I’m tired of repeating the same dreary
scene from the same depressing play
with the stark spotlight
and the lonely chair
and the chiaroscuro stage.
In fact, I even got fed up
and closed down the whole playhouse.
And I’m making moves,
and they feel new and uncomfortable.
I know I’ll break in these dancing shoes
with time.
I know what feels awkward now
will eventually be a graceful glide.
Please stay by my side
while I learn.
To love and be loved –
it sounds easy.
But my love rushes into strange channels
and the love I allow in
has to pass through a pointless gauntlet.
Please accompany me while I soften
my edges.
Please keep whispering to me as I learn
why you are the bravest planet.
Please remind me of your light,
even as I feel your shadows.
-Menorca, Spain - 2022
